Just be

A reminder to myself when I forget that resting is allowed.

The moment consciousness wakes,
My mind begins to react
Whirling, churning, planning
Deciding, devising, creating
It never stops.
This urge to always do,
To become something more

You have to keep going....
You have to keep moving..
You have to keep doing...
You have to keep up...

For so long those have been
The guide posts of my life.
Where I derive value from
A measure of worth - a goal.
And so I strive, constantly 
Heading forward, blindly
Not recognising the toll
The price I pay as a result.

To develop, to grow
Is an expectation of life
But only when you are ready.
When your mind, body and spirit align
But I push and push without respite
Not listening till the very end.

And even then the fear...
Fear of no longer becoming 
Fear of being kicks in
And stops me from taking respite.
To be gentle, to soften
To fully embody that which I am now
Whkch is not where I started.

To stop running from myself.
To see myself where I am now.
To embrace the current version of me.
To understand that sometimes
Softening is the only way
To find the peace I have been seeking.

So I say to myself:
Take your foot of the pedal,
Let go of the armour so worn
I give you permission to just be.
And that's when I find the courage
To take one deep breath
And in exhaling, find peace.