When the performance ends

After the lights fade, who is left behind the mask?

When the performance ends
And I am left on the stage alone -
No longer in the spotlight,
The lights illuminating me have gone.

What remains but the face behind the mask,
The hollow shell stripped away by
All the words, the actions of the day
The smiles, the laughs, the gazes
All scripted.

I exist - body, mind and spirit
Yet the compulsion to don the silks,
Satin and faces of others is so
Tempting - to find where I fit in
Where I belong.

Where do I fit in?
Where do I belong?

And in that fear of never really knowing -
I put on another mask,
I put on another dress
And step out into the gleaming lights
Ready to perform again.